A demons love
by ShairaHisako
Summary: Hiroki wakes up and finds his bed empty. Nowaki isn't there anymore. A story that starts one day before Nowaki leaves for Amercia. MPREG in later chapters. Appereance of all Junjou couples. And Nowaki will only appear again in chapter 4 or 5...so don't wonder.
1. Last day

**So I decided to do Junjou Egoist before Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.**

**I hope you will like it. :D**

**And now Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

„ Hiro-san...I love you!" Nowaki embraced Hiroki from behind and pulled him closer.

„ Hai,hai..." Hiroki sighed. The past week his lover was even more clingy than usual.

_Wonder what's with him lately._

„ Ne...Hiro-san do you love me?"

The brunette blushed bright red and hit Nowaki on the head.

„ Don't go around and just say such embarrassing things"

He freed himself from Nowaki and turned around.

„ I have to go now so-" He paused when he saw how sad the other looked.

_That can't possibily have hurt him, right? I mean I'm always like this..._

Hiroki couldn't bear seeing his brat so down.

While blushing heavily he took one step forward and kissed Nowaki on the lips. It was just a light one, but for Hiroki it was embarrassing nevertheless.

„ I have to go to work now... I'll see you later." He the turned around and walked out of the apartment not noticing that Nowaki still looked sad.

* * *

As Hiroki returned home Nowaki greeted him with his usual bright smile.

On the table was a big meal which the older one looked at in surprise.

„ Why the big meal? Is there a special occasion?", he asked while hanging up his coat.

Nowaki didn't answer and just looked at his boyfriend with those sad eyes that seemed to pierce Hirokis heart.

Without realizing he made two steps towards Nowaki and was pulled in a tight embrace.

The younger one burried his face on his shoulder.

_Nowaki? It's like his fighting with himself..._

Hiroki returned the hug, trying to comfort his lover although he didn't know the reason.

He just felt helpless when his usual cheerful and confident brat was so sad and unsure.

He couldn't help blushing when Nowaki pulled him even closer, nearly choking him with the embrace.

„ Hiro-san...I want you..." The youngers voice was deep and dark, dripping of desire. The brunette blushed even more at that.

That voice turned him on so badly... it was so sexy...

He felt how he became erect. But Nowaki wouldn't notice. His own bulge pressed against his lovers leg.

„ Let's ear first...", Hiroki said while pushing the dark haired man away.

_Otherwise I'll get nothing today..._

„ Hiro-san...", Nowaki whined and tried to get closer again.

„ Don't you dare touch me until after the meal!" The brunette gave him a glare, feeling guilty at the same time to make Nowaki endure his hard cock.

He sometimes worried that Nowaki would leave him because of his bad temper. He knew that Nowaki was popular with girls and boys. If the boy would ever decide to break up he couldn't change that. And it scarred him terribly.

_But he won't leave me because of things like that. I mean that's part of me... and he said he loves all of me...so..._ Hiroki tried to reassure himself.

He felt Nowakis stare on him, making him hot all over, clearly showing it on his face but he didn't respond to that wanting eyes.

Even though he tried to stay calm he couldn't help but eat faster thatn usual. He just hoped Nowaki wouldn't notice. That would be far to embarrassing.

He may sometimes act cold but he wanted the other man as much as he was wanted.

As soon as he finished Nowaki pulled him up and kissed him passionatly. Swirling their tongues around each other.

With one hand in Hirokis hair he held his lover closer, keeping him from escaping. But much to his surprise the older one didn't resist.

He withdraw for a moment to catch his breath.

Hiroki was red as hell. His eyes wanting, his breath irregular.

Nowaki again thrusted his tongue in his lover mouth, tasting him, again interwining their tongues.

Hirkoi trembled and his legs gave in. He now was only supported by Nowakis strong arms.

„ Hiro-san.", the deep, huskily voice mumled against his lips. The older one shivered as he heard it, as he saw the strong desire in the blue eyes.

A small moan escaped his mouth making Nowaki rock hard.

He pressed against Hirokis leg trying to find some relief, but that made even more painful.

So he lifted the brunette up and carried him to the bed in bridal style.

Hirkoi didn't resist. He wanted Nowaki...NOW.

He didn't even care as Nowaki threw him on the bed, not gently like usual but impatient. It hurt a little but for him it was a sign how much he was wanted so he couldn't care less.

„ Nowaki...", he said out of breath.

Nowaki crwaled over him, bending over to kiss him passoinatly. Then he placed sweet kisses on Hirkos collarbone, making him shiver all over.

„ Ahn..." Hiroki twisted his legs to make his hard cock less painful but Nowaki parted them instantly and placed himself between them.

„ Hiro-san...", he mumbled while his hand went in the others pants and began to stroke over the underwear.

„ Ahh...nnn..." Hiroki placed a hand over his mouth to stop his cries as he couldn't hold them in.

He felt how Nowaki undressed him and then sucked on his nipples, making them hard.

„ Nowaki...nnn...ahh..."

Nowaki groaned as he heard his lovers voice. His erection throbbed painfully.

„ Hiro-san... I can't..." He reached over for the lubricant.

Although he couldn't hold back anymore he wanted Hiroki to enjoy this. The last thing he wanted was to hurt the older guy.

One of his fingers pushed against his partners entrance while his mouth sorrounded the others cock.

„ Ahh...Nowaki...there..." Nowaki pushed against Hirkois prostate making the man shiver and sream out in pleasure.

„ AHN...AHh... Nowaki..." The younger one sucked on his balls and then placed his mouth around his erection again.

Hirko bend his back as he came inside his lovers mouth, panting hard.

Nowaki already had three fingers inside him and he now moved them inside the man, making him hard again.

As he reached over for the condom his hand was helt back by Hiroki who blushed crimson red.

Nowaki looked at him wondering what he wanted.

„ Don't...bother... I want you...now..." Hirokis voice was very quiet, but Nowaki understood him.

„ Hiro-san...you should stop seducing me like that.", he said while shivering. Then he placed his cock on Hirkos entrance.

„ Ah...ah...nn..."

Nowaki groaned loudly as he felt his lovers tightness around him. He couldn't hold back his voice. Neither of them did.

With slow thrusts he went inside his lover until his full length was inside, hitting on Hirkos prostate.

„ Ahhh...MHM...Nowaki...right there...", the brunette moaned, not caring about his pride right now.

He pulled the younger one down and pressed their lips together.

He felt Nowakis shirt brush his chest and whined in frustration.

_In my way..._

Nowaki who seemed to have read his mind let go of Hiroki for a moment and threw his shirt on the ground.

Hiroki grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down again. So that they were chest on chest.

Nowaki held on to his lovers waist and thrusted inside his lover with all strenth. Making the one figure beneath him come again.

Hirkos insides went even tighter around Nowakis cock and he made one last, forceful push and then came inside the other one while he groaned again.

„ Hiro-san.", he whispered and kissed his boyfriend softly on the lips.

„ I love you."

Nowaki rolled down of Hiroki and pulled him in a tight embrace.

The older man couldn't help admiring his lovers broad shoulders and his manly chest.

He gently run his fingers over his lover body, which made the other shiver.

Then Hiroki felt something hard against his leg.

He first looked down and than up to Nowaki in great surprise.

„ Again?", he asked slightly shy.

„ Ignore it!", Nowaki said and pulled him closer.

„ But thats going to hurt...", Hiroki mumbled, blushing at his own words.

„ I don't mind. As long as I can hold you close like this.

_But I mind..._, the brunette thought.

His hand went down and grabbed Nowaki cock, stroking it with one hand.

Nowaki grunted at the touch.

„ Hiro-san...", he said while rolling over and pressing against the other mans hole.

Too embarrassed to speak Hiroki put his hands around Nowakis waist and pulled him inside him.

* * *

Late in the night Hiroki woke up. He felt cold and turned around to cuddle against his warm lover as he realized that the bed was empty.

His hips hurt quite bad and he frowned, trying to ignore how he blushed at the thought of their love-making.

_Damn that Nowaki. Doing me seven times in a row..._

**He** looked at the clock, noticing that it was only 4am.

„ Nowaki?", he asked into the empty room with a sleepy voice.

He didn't get an answer and sat up.

At that moment the door was opened and he saw Nowakis silhouette.

Alone the presence of the other male calmed him down and he laid back again.

He felt how Nowaki crawled onto the bed and kissed him on the ckeek.

„ Sorry to wake you...but I have to go now..."

Hiroki opened his eyes again, just half ways though because he was to tired to look at his lover properly.

„ I'll write you" Nowaki kissed Hiroki on the lips and stood up going to the door. Then he turned around once again and looked at his lover, who was falling asleep.

„ Goodbye...", he whispered and closed the door. Hiroki heard his lover leave but was to tired to notice what the boy had said and in which voice he did.

If he did he propably would have jumped up and ran after his lover.

But Hiroki fell asleep just like that and only realized how cold it was with his lover not next to him.

* * *

**So that was chapter 1 of my Egoist fanfiction. I hope you liked it. Please review. :D**


	2. Fet up

**So here's chapter two. I know that the feelings aren't described that good. But I hope you'll like it nevertheless.**

**Just listen to sad music while reading :D That always works.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

When Hiroki woke up the next day the other bedside was empty.

„ Nowaki?", he asked into the empty room as he vaguely remembered that Nowaki had left last night.

_I wonder where he went? It was terribly early... I guess I'll ask him later._

He slowly stood up and blushed as his lovers semen dripped out of him.

„ Damn him..."

He somehow didn't feel good at all. He had a feeling that something wasn't right. Something with Nowaki. With what Nowaki had said last night. But he couldn't remember what it could have been.

_That's ridiculous. He just went to work or something like that... He'll write me later like he always does. Annoying me..._

Hiroki smiled at that thought.

But the smile dissappeared when he opened his phone and had no new messages as Nowaki always send him a morning mail everytime he was out.

_A that's stupid... I guess he's still busy._

Although he tried to calm himself he worried about Nowaki the whole morning.

His students soon realized that he wasn't concentrating on his job so they began to talk.

He didn't care. He didn't even notice.

As he wanted to look for a mail in his break he realized that he had forgotten his phone at home and it made him uneasy.

He vaguely remembered that Nowaki had told him that he was leaving and that he'd write him.

„ _Goodbye..."_

Suddenly Hiroki realized why it had bothered him.

Nowakis voice... it had sounded so... final. Like he's never come back.

Hiroki shivered at the thought. His chest tightened.

_Pull yourself together...It's not like that ever would happen._

But Hiroki couldn't help to tremble out of fear.

" Stupid! Write me!", he tipped into his phone and send it.

He was quite sure that Nowaki would answer to that. He almost could imagin the reply.

" Whatever I did...I'm sorry. I'm coming over now! I love you Hiro-san."

But the reply didn't come.

* * *

Two days had passed. And Hiroki still didn't get any message from his lover.

The last two days he went sleeping with his phone in his hands. The last thing he'd see before falling asleep was the screen, telling him that he had no new messages.

When he woke up it was the first thing he's look at.

His pride had kept him from calling his boyfriend. He thought of a reason why Nowaki wouldn't get in touch with him.

He tried to think of something that may have annoyed the younger boy. But even if he did...Nowaki wasn't the person to frown over it.

Hiroki took a deep breath as he opened his phone and entered Nowakis number.

„ This number is currently out of service. This number is currently out of service. This number is-"

He looked at his phone in shock.

_Out of service? He got a new number? Why didn't he tell me?_

His heart began to throb painfully.

_Nowaki? Where are you?_

He was really worried now. What if something had happened. What if Nowaki had been in a accident.

He couldn't bear that thought.

He grabbed his bag and went out of the house, towards the university as he didn't want to neglect his work.

His eyes were on his feet, trying to concentrate on the steps to keep his mind from wandering of.

„ Ah... Kamijou-san?"

Hiroki looked up seeing a young woman whom he didn't recognize at first. It took him a while until

he identified her as one of Nowakis friends.

„ Kotoko-san, right?" She nodded.

„ How are you?", Hiroki asked politly.

„ Oh...I'm good. And you?"

„ I'm fine, thank you..." There was akward pause.

„ Ähm...Kotoko-san...if you don't mind me asking... but do you know anything about Nowaki? I can't reach him on his phone and...and I don't know where he is..."

Kotoko didn't answer and just looked at Hiroki in great shock.

„ I thought...", she began but stopped.

Hiroki felt how his heart tightened.

„ You thought what?", he asked with a dry voice.

He saw her swallow hard and then she slowly began to talk again.

„ Nowaki...he moved to America about three days ago. He wanted to study there... As you might propably know he wants to be a doctor... But I thought you knew... I mean regarding your relationship..."

„ To America?", he asked while his voice broke.

_She's joking right? He would have told me... he would have..._

But he saw that Kotoko meant it.

„ Ah thank...you..."

His heart squeezed, leaving him no air to breath.

He didn't wait for the woman to answer him. He turned around and walked toward his apartment.

His eyes were dead, showing no feelings. They starred into the air while he walked to the house like he was in trance.

He couldn't think staight anymore.

He sat on his bed and then slowly bowed over and opened the drawer, taking a small black box out of it.

As he flipped the small item open it reveald two rings, lying there in peace.

And suddenly his feelings came back at once.

First there was the anger. His hands currled up in fists nearly crashing the box.

„ Shit...Damn...", he shouted while he threw his bedside lamp on the floor.

„ Shit... If he was going to leave me from the beginning...then why did he... Damn... Why? Wh-"

He coughed, trying to catch his breath.

Tears streamed down his face.

„ Why the hell-" He coughed time while holding his throat.

_Can't breath..._

He felt something cutting his hand. He looked down on the box that was now broken and covered with his blood.

„ Shit...why did I even..."

He threw the box away and then bowed over to ease the pain in his chest.

_There's no use for it now... I don't need that anymore...Nowaki isn't here...He... left me..._

He couldn't see anymore. His eyes were filled with tears that soon flowed down his cheeks.

_He's fet up with me..._

His throat hurt. No everything did.

He currled up on the bed. Like an fotus he built a ball.

_At the end he hated my temper... I thought he really loved me... I guess that was just wishful thinking on my part._

* * *

**So this was chapter 2 :d I hope you liked it. I hope it was better with the feelings at the end. But I still have to get into this story as I'm totally in Misaki&Usagi mode right now. Hope you will continue on reading.**

**please review :D And thanks.**


	3. Sorrow

**So here's chapter 3 ...sorry that it took so long. Do not wonder. There are just a few thoughts because I wanted to describe the feelings without.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Hiroki didn't pick his phone the next two days, no matter how often it ringed.

Although he was quite sure that Nowaki had left him forever he still had that light hope in him that the younger guy didn't.

But after he still didn't get any letter or mail after three weeks that hope had vanished.

Just a small bit was left. But it stayed unnoticed because even Hiroki didn't know that it was there anymore.

The brunette couldn't let go. He still went to the family resturant where they ate and it was like nothing had changed. Nothing but Nowakis absence.

When he went there the first time three weeks after Nowakis leave he sat at his usual place, writing something for work as he was aiming to be a professor.

It felt like everything was okay again. He felt like Nowaki was there with him.

He was concentrating on his work so he didn't think about what he was saying until it was too late.

„ Nowaki could go hand me the sa-"

He stopped right in the middle of the sentence when he realized his mistake.

He looked at the seat across from him and it was like he saw Nowakis image linger in front of him, slowly fading away.

The image had that bright, dazzling smile that his lover always had shown him.

But Nowaki was no longer there.

As Hiroki realized this his eyes filled with tears that he barly could hold back.

He had enough of all this. There was no reason for him to come here anymore.

Nowaki was gone and with him went all the happiness Hiroki had. All the light.

It was all gone.

He couldn't laugh, not even smile anymore. Nor could he think radicaly when he was out of school.

And even if he could he didn't want to. There would be just pain.

And the only one who would have noticed that his heart was into pieces was now gone.

Hiroki swallowed hard.

_I won't cry here...in front of all this people... I still have my pride._, he thought but nearly choked at the holded back tears.

He left in a hurry after paying, storming into the next pub he could find.

He just wanted to forget all this pain. He didn't want to think of anything.

He wanted to forget the pain he felt everytime he looked into his mailbox or phone to find it without a message.

He wanted to forget the people that asked him if he found Nowakis new letter thrilling to, when he never got one.

He didn't want to hear the people calling him selfish as Nowaki had been the only one who had accepted that side of him. The only one that accepted all of his willfulness, but Nowaki was now gone, left him all alone and broken.

He wanted to forget that too.

He didn't want to see the apartment that was filled with memories and pictures and now felt so unbearable empty. Not the books that Nowaki once gave him nor the kitchen where the becoming doctor had cooked for him.

There was nothing left now that he could enjoy.

He once thought that getting over Akihiko was difficult, but it was nothing compared to this.

He just couldn't stand it anymore. All he wanted to do was burry this sorrow in alcohol.

If he was a weaker kind of person he would have killed himself, but Hiroki wasn't like that. Even though he thought about it sometimes.

But he didn't want to cause anyone the pain that Nowaki caused him.

So he drank...

But that just made it worse.

All the memories came back and he couldn't surpress them. All the feelings flowed over and he couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

He hid his face in his hands and cried desperatly, whispering his lovers name and trying to catch his breath.

Nobody came over or looked at him in a weird way. They all knew the feeling.

„ Nowaki... Nowaki..."

_I don't care what I have to do...but just...come back to me..._

Hiroki trembled miserably.

All that he wanted was to feel Nowakis warm hand on his back.

He didn't care what everyone did to him, said about him or if everybody left him.

_Just Nowaki...only he...only without him I can't live..._

He wanted those deep blue eyes to look at him again. Those big arms to embrace him again. To hold him tight once again.

But the only thing that he really wanted was out of his reach.

Nowaki wouldn't come back to him anymore.

He was propably with some cute boy or girl, enjoying himself.

Being relived that he hadn't to listen to Hiroki nagging anymore.

And Hirko hated himself for that.

For his nature that drove the love of his life away. For his temper that got him so often and made his lover hate him.

He couldn't even hate Nowaki for leaving him.

He just could hate himself for being the way he was. For having been a trouble for the dark haired man.

He couldn't even see a reason why Nowaki had stayed so long. Had been with him for so long.

Someone like Nowaki could have anyone he wanted.

But Hiroki couldn't even have that one person he truly loved and desired.

He was the only one nobody wanted.

Even Akihiko had a new lover. The oh-so-fabolous-Akihiko who always was being ignorant and high and mighty.

But even Hirokis parents like the author more.

There wasn't anyone how would love only Hiroki. Who would stay with him.

Not even Nowaki.

Hiroki felt a small wamr hand on his back and looked up, not seeing anything as his eyes were filled with tears.

„ Kamijou-sensei? Is there anything I can help you with?", a gentle voice asked.

The brunette barely could recognize the face. But it was one of the few stundents he would recognize.

„ Kamijou-sensei...is there anyone I can call to pick you up?", the boy asked worridly.

„ There's...no one... for me... I'm...all alone... Takahashi-kun...", he brought out and his head fell onto the table.

* * *

**Yeah...that was chapter 3... I hope you liked it... I hope the feelings are understandable... Please review ^^**


	4. Picked up

**Here's chapter 4. Sorry it took so long ^^ Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

When Hiroki woke up, he couldn't see anything.

His head felt like hell and he felt like vomiting any moment.

„ Oh god... shit..."

He turned to his side and stared into the dark, not seeing the slightest bit but a line of light under what he supposed was the door.

The bed smelled different than his and the pillow was too hard.

He grunted and swung his legs out of bed, his stromach protesting. He leaned forward, elbows on his leg, face in his hands.

„ Fuck...urgh... never again will I drink like this...", he muttered and then carefully stood up.

He staggered towards the now a little better visible door.

When he stepped out he squinted because of the bright light.

He was on a second floor in a big apartment. An apartment that he found rather familiar.

„ Usagi-san...dammit...let go. I'm making breakfast...and...aaah...Kamijou-sens-...mhm..he's upstairs... WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TOUCHING?"

Hiroki raised his brow and looked down, looking into a kitchen where he saw a brunette and a very familiar silver head.

_Why the hell is Akihiko here?_

He slowly went down the stairs, his eyes fixed on the couple that stood in the kitchen.

Akihiko had his hands around the brunette and was kissing the boys neck while the smaller one ignored him completly and stirred something in a pan.

„ Ährm...I'm sorry to interrupt, but... äh yeah." Hiroki had no idea what to say. Not the slightest.

The brunette swirled around and blushed furiously.

„ Ah Kamijou-sensei...good morning. Usagi-san...let me go!" He freed himself from the strong arms and walked over.

„ Are you okay?", he asked worridly.

Hiroki looked at him a little confused. It took him a moment to identify the boy as one of his students.

„ Yeah... just a small headache..."

Now Akihiko stepped forward and laid his arm around Takahashi-kun who shaked it off immediately, like he always did it.

„ You really gave Misaki a scare last night you now, Hiroki." He laughed softly.

„ Yeah...I guessed that...ähm...but what exactly happened last night?"

_Flashback_

„ There's...no one... for me... I'm...all alone... Takahashi-kun...", he brought out and his head fell onto the table.

Misaki looked at his tutro flustered. He softly poked the other guy, who just remained unconcious.

„ Ähm...Kamijou-sensei?" The boy sighed and then looked around.

The people around him purposely igonered them, starring through them like they didn't exist.

„ Oh damn it..." He took out his phone and dialed a number, waiting for somebody to answer.

„ Ah...Usagi-san...could you...ehm get me? I've got...you could call it a little...problem."

Ten minutes later Misaki stood at the street a now awake and totally drunk Hiroki with him.

A red car came around the corner with screeching wheels and stopped in front of them.

Usagi stepped out and walked over.

„ Misaki...what is the matter...are you all right?" he then looked at the other brunette that was slowly staggering near him.

„ Hiroki?"

„ Oh...Akihisko...haha...handshome ash ever...", he mumbled drunkly and hugged Akihiko.

Misaki stared at him slightly jealous but averted his eyes quickly.

„ You know each other?", he asked softly, still not looking up.

„ Yeah...we're childhood friends.", Akihiko said while looking over Hirokis shoulder.

Misaki nodded, his eyes on the pavement while he smiled slightly said.

„ Misaki are you all right?", Usagi asked, his voice gentle, but worried. Finally Misaki looked up, right into his eyes.

„ I'm fine!", he said and walked towards the car. All three of them got in and Usagi drove home.

_Flashback End_

„ Oh...I'm so sorry for causing you trouble. I'll leave immediantly!"

Hirokis cheeks were bright red. How could he have shown such a weakness in front of his friend, and even worsse, in front of his student.

„ No...no. Please eat with us Kamijou-sensei. You didn't cause trouble at all."

Misaki smiled at the older man gently and once again shoke off Usagis arm.

„ Then...Thank you, I guess."

They all sat down, eating in akward silence. Misaki didn't dare to look to Usagi in fear he could see something he didn't want to and Hiroki didn't look at one of them because he was to embarrassed. Usagi just quitly chuckled at the both of them.

After a while Misaki stood up to wash the dishes, leaving the two friends alone.

Akihiko sighed and folded his hands, looking at Hiroki with great concern in his eyes.

„ So...mind telling me what that was all about? You never get drunk. Never. At least not in a pub with tons of people around you. So what happened?"

Hiroki looked at him and swallowed hard.

_Please...don't let me explain. Don't let me remember... I just can't anymore._

„ Hiroki?"

„ It was nothing.", the brunette said softly, looking down on his hands like he was interested in his nails.

„ Oh come on. Misaki told me that you were crying. Another thing you don't do in front of people. He told me that you said that there's no one for you. That you're all alone. Mind explaining that? What happened to your blue-eyed lover?"

Hiroki looked up, barely holding back the tears as he stared sadly at his friend.

„ He left.", he broke out, his voice hoarse and cracking at the end.

Usagi stayed silent. Just looked at his friend as he saw the sorrow in the brown eyes. He, the great author, winner of prices, didn't know what to say.

„ Why?", he asked after several minutes in silence.

Hiroki visibly fought for breath and then let out a tortured sound.

„ I don't know...he...left for...America...three weeks ago.", he brought out, his voice beginning to tremble. He held one hand in front of his mouth while he looked wond again.

He couldn't bear it anymore. Every breath hurt.

_Why the hell. It has been three weeks...why can't I just...forget him.. Please just let me...forget this all._

„ Do you have...a room. I just want..." Hiroki didn't finish the sentence. But Akihiko knew what he wanted to say and nodded.

„ The one you slept in.", he said, the pity in his voice clearly audible.

„ Thanks...", Hiroki brought out before he ran upstairs, the tears already streaming out of his eyes.

He slammed the door behind him and threw himself on the bed, crying helplessly. Rolling up in fotus position, like he always did the last few weeks.

Downstairs Usagi looked over the kitchen, a thougtful look in his eyes.

„ Misaki?", he asked as the boy came over, looking around in wonder.

„ Where's Kamijou-sensei?" The boy sat dwon on the chair across from Usagi, his hand on the table. It immediantly was covered by Usagis.

„ He's upstairs. He's... He seems to be really on th edge right now."

„ Is he alrigth? I mean he cried last night. What happened?", the boy asked and though he felt jealous he still sounded worried.

„ It seems like his lover...left him. He went to America. But in fact I know...that Hiroki was more than head over heals for him."

„ Oh...", was all Misaki could answer.

„ Misaki...I know that you won't like the idea...but can we. Can he live hear for a while?"

Misaki looked down on his hands. He was surprised that Usagi asked him but slighlty hurt at the same time.

„ Yeah...I guess... but why?"

Usagi looked at him with gentle eyes.

„ He once told me...in drunken state of course, that his apartment is a lot warmer since that boy came into his life. And now...that that person is gone. I can only imagine his pain. I wouldn't want him to be alone at this moment."

Misaki smiled at him gently.

„ Okay. But not more than three month." he looked down shyly. Usagi smiled mischievous,.

„ No...we wouldn't want him to be here at our anniversary right?!"

Misaki blushed brigth red and jumped from his chair.

„ What anniversary?", he said and walked away. Usagi smiled and then looked down on the table.

_I hope Hiroki will agree. I can't leave him alone like this._

* * *

**So Hirokis going to live with a lovey-dovey couple. How will that work out? See in next chapter. Hope you liked it. Please review ^^ **


	5. Nightmare

**WARNING: Crappy chapter. And I think a lot of OCC. READ NOTE AT THE END!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

A dark room. With no light but the thin frame of an open door.

Two men across from each other. One with black hair and blue eyes and one with brown hair and brown eyes.

Both looking at each other. The first with a look of apologize and the second with utter happiness.

„ Nowaki!", Hiroki cried out and stumbled forward into his lovers arms. Something that he had never done before. But god he had missed that guy.

„ You're back!" He rapped around the neck of the future doctor and held him close, crying silent tears into the others shirt.

„ Hiro-san. I'm back.", the big guy said and hugged the smaller one back.

It was a moment of pure bliss.

But then Nowaki pushed Hiroki away and looked down on him, something like pity in his eyes.

„ I'm sorry Hiro-san."

The brunette looked up and smiled at his lover, not knowing what the other was apologizing for.

„ What are you sorry for?", he asked curiously.

„ I...I just...can't do this anymore." Nowaki looked down on the floor then up again, over the brunettes shoulder.

„ What do you mean with 'this'?" Slowly Hirokis heart began to beat fast in fear.

„ I mean. This. This relationship. I can't do this anymore." Very Nowaki-manner-like the blue eyes looked down on his lover with regret and apologize.

But it didn't help. It as like Hirokis world broke down once more.

His heart was once again pierced by ice speers and his eyes once again began to shed hot tears he couldn't hold back anymore.

„ Why?", he brought out. His voice sounding terrible.

„ Because... I... never really loved you. Just the beautiful image of your crying face, but not you as an actual person. I thought I'd try for your sake. But I can't do this. I'm sorry. I hope you will understand. I'll never come to see you again. I...I found someone I really love. Sorry."

Nowaki apologized again and again while he walked away, leaving a broken Hiroki behind.

A Hiroki that couldn't believe what just had happened. A Hiroki that felt like his insides were coming out. Like his heart was held by a cold hand that pressed harder and harder until he couldn't breath anymore.

Nowaki had left him. Once more. And this time really forever.

* * *

Hiroki woke up as he was shaken hardly. Big, cold hands were on his arms and shaked him almost frantic.

„ Hiroki. Wake up! Hell wake up!", a familiar voice called.

Someone was screaming. Crying.

Not until his throat began hurting Hiroki realized that it was him that was crying his soul out loudly.

He tried to stop, but his voice wouldn't listen to him.

Through his tears he barely saw Akihiko next to him. The authors hands on his arms, still shaking him. Next to him stood Misaki. Also near tears as he saw his teacher so desperate.

Akihiko shook him and shook him. Somehow trying to stop the screaming and crying, but he couldn't help his friend. Not like this.

Misaki pushed him away and settled next to Hiroki. He took the older guy in his arms and began to rock back and forth, mumbling soothing words in the guys ear, gently stroking over the others back.

And after several minutes that seemed like hours the crying stopped and just a small sobbing was left.

Misaki didn't withdraw. He'd hold the odler man close as long as he allowed.

„ Nowaki...Nowaki...Nowaki...", Hiroki whimpered in his arms.

It was like he still was trapped in that nightmare.

After half an hour of rocking Misaki sent Usagi out of the room and to sleep again. For once the author did what he was said. He knew he couldn't do anything for his friend.

And hell. Hiroki had never frightened him like this.

The usual composed and cool devil Kamijou-sensei was vunerable like a baby and that frightened the author to hell.

„ Shh...everything's all right. It was just a dream." Misaki was still rocking the older man like his brother once rocked him when he had nightmares after their parents death.

This situation was the same.

After two hours Hiroki finally stopped crying completly.

He sat up straight and looked at his student with red cheeks and eyes.

„ I'm sorry Takahashi- kun for troubling you like this. I'm okay now.", he said and smiled softly at the boy. Misaki mustered him for amoment and then stood up. Bidding him goodnight and walking out of the room.

Hiroki let himself fall in the bed.

_God... I can't believe I cried like a baby in front of them._, he thought. It really was to embarrassing. But...

_I just couldn't help myself. I had nightmares before but this... it seemed real._

Tears began to leave his eyes again. The last remained ones.

He had nightmares before. Even nightmares of Nowaki leaving him. But they hadn't been that bad.

First. This one was the first where Nowaki had returned and then left him. And second. This one was the first where Nowaki wasn't cruel and cold. This one was the first where Nowaik had been Nowaki and not some distorted version of him. And that was the actual bad thing about the dream.

It had been much more real. Because Hiroki was sure that if Nowaki had broken up with him, he'd have done it like this.

* * *

It had been three month since Hiroki moved to Akihikos.

He had been relucant about it but after some long talks with his best friend and his lover he decided to occupy Misakis room.

And he had needed it. He hadn't realized how much he had needed company.

His broken and shattered heart slowly began to feel warm again. And it was mostly thanks to Misaki who was kind to him all the time. But never pitied him. He just was there to listen.

But as much as he healed at this place nearly as much he broke.

They never where mean to him.

But it were the small things that hurt him.

When they were sitting next to each other and Misaki onconsciously leaned against Akihiko. Or when they were kissing when Misaki thought nobody was looking.

It broke Hirokis heart.

Because it was something he knew he'd never have again.

Without Nowaki he wanted no one. Nowaki had been the one for him, but Nowaki was now gone.

So after three month with the author and his young lover he couldn't stand it anymore. So he moved out.

Into that empty, cold apartment that still was filled with memories.

He couldn't bring himself to leave it.

What if Nowaki came back? He owuldn't know where to find him. So he stayed there. Staring at the walls at night until he fell asleep.

Month after month passed and there still was no sign of Nowaki.

Hiroki became a professor and now with more free time he went to the restaurant again and got drunk after that.

When he was at the table, eating he stared at the seat across him. Trying to remember how his lover looked like. But the memory was slowly faiding.

_I'm forgetting him. I forgot his eyes. I remember they were ocean blue...but I can't rememer them exactly. I forgot his smile and his warmth._

_The only thing that's left now are the photographs on the wall that I can't bring myself to look at._

Hiroki lived his life in trance.

Till that one day. That one day he found the postcard.

* * *

Hiroki held the postcard in his trembling hand as one hand went up to cover his mouth that was near crying out loud. Something his eyes already did.

„_Hiro-san, how are you?_

_I'm returning to Japan._

_I'm arriving at 4pm at the 30.05 on Narita Airport."_

* * *

**YEAH... I know this was bad...and the last one also. I have to admit I was out of idea for the time Nowaki is away.**

**I just wanted to show some bad thing and feelings Hiroki had. I hope you like it a bit...**

**I really hope my next chapters will be better. So please don't stop reading and tell me what exactly you didn't like, maybe I can change it.**

**The next chapter or the next two are exactly the same as the anime...so don't wonder.**

**Thanks for following and reviewing. Until soon :)**


	6. Meeting is the beginning of parting

**Okay. Sorry for taking so long. This is rather long too. :D This is what happened in the anime, but I left some scenes out and added some thougts. I hope you like it**

**Enjoy^^**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

It was the 30.05th. 4.30pm.

Outside on a long runway planes arrived and left in regular circles.

Twenty minutes ago a plane from America arrived ten minutes too late and with the plane came a tall black-haired and blue-eyed man after a year away from home and his lover.

A lover he couldn't wait to see.

When the man stepped out of the door he realized that his shoe was open, so he knelt down to tie it back together.

* * *

Hiroki didn't know what exactly he was doing here. Just an hour ago he told himself not to go, because even if he returned now, Nowaki had left him without a word. And because of that life had been pure hell for the brunette.

But his heart seemed to have taken over his body.

No he was here at Narita Airport staring at a large door of glas, waiting for it to open and reveal the passenger from the last plane.

His heart dropped with every minutes...until... the door opened and a tall man with eyes blue as the ocean stepped through.

With a heart that beat faster than ever and eyes that widend in shock Hiroki looked at his lover, uncounsciously stepping forward.

He only realized it when he was already just a few meter away from the love of his life, who now knelt down to tie his shoes. And suddenly anger flowed Hiroki.

He stepped in front of the man loudly and stared down at him.

Nowaki who notced the shadow above him looked up. His eyes widend in surprise.

„ Hiro-san?", he asked. Hiroki stared down on him, all his feelings of anger clearly visible.

„ Nowaki! You... FUCKING IDIOT!", the brunette shouted on a whim and kicked his lover hardly on the head. Then he turned around and ran away as fast as he could.

Nowaki was surrounded by people who asked him if he was okay.

„ Call the police!", someone said as the dark haired doctor leaned forward.

„ No...no. I'm really okay.", Nowaki said and looked the way Hiroki had disappeared.

„ He was no stranger. He..."

When Hiroki turned around to look if Nowaki followed him his heart throbbed painfully as he realized that the younger guy didn't.

_That person...was my lover. _, he thought while staring at the way he left with sorrow in his eyes. His forhead in a frown as his heart squeezed tightly, taking his air to breath.

Hiroki didn't want to think about that now. Not with the man himself so close but yat so far.

When he sat on the bus half an hour later he couldn't help keeping his thoughts of Nowaki.

_Nowaki...Nowaki...Nowaki. My former lover... Well,we haven't actually broken up yet, so I can't say 'former'._

_But yet again...what lover dissappears for a year without a word..._

Hiroki was quite surprised by himself. Never would he have believed that he could stay so calm while thinking of Nowaki. Without crying. Because it was a first in a year.

_That's right... This idiotic moron, Kusama Nowaki went to stury in America without bothering to say a word about it to me._

_It always had been...like this. Since the day we started going out._

It still hurt to think of that time. That time full of love that now was gone for ever.

_He said he wanted to go to university for social work, so I taught him about humanities and then he goes to a national medical school._

„ A freaking science!"

Hiroki pulled out the only words he ever got from Nowaki. The post card that informed him of his arrival.

_When? Where?! What the hell have you been doing all this time?_, he wondered angrily.

_I've never met anybody this incomprehensibly irrational before!_

_It's just been six year of this, over and over..._

Hiroki stepped out of the train and began walking towards the exit.

_I was right to kick him on the head. Now I can break up with him without a single regret. That bastard deserves it!_

He was about to throw away the postcard but stopped last minute. Somehow he didn't want to throw it away. Because it would be the only thing that was left of Nowaki.

* * *

When Hiroki came home from shopping he still was annoyed. But this was far better than sitting on the bed and crying patheticly do he welcomed the anger gladly.

But when he turned around the corner Nowaki was there.

His bog body was leaning on his suitcase his blue-eyes fixed on Hiroki, who took a sharp breath before walking towards the other nonchalantly.

„ Sorry. I thought I'd wait here for you.", Nowaki said and it send shivers down Hirokis back. God how he had missed that voice.

„ What do you want?", Hiroki asked coldly, not knowing how to say it in a nother way.

„ May I stay here tonight?", the future doctor asked.

_His acting like nothing happened!_

Hiroki opened his apartment.

„ I lost the key to my apartment, and I can't seem to get in touch with the landlord..."

Hiroki didn't answer. He just went inside, leaving the door open. Faintly hearing Nowakis thanks and how the guy stepped in.

He sat down on his floor, turning on the TV so he hadn't to talk to Nowaki. He couldn't.

When he opened the newpaper he could feel Nowakis stare on his back, but he didn't turn around. Why should he? What could he do if he did?

„ Hiro-san, I want to apologize for not contactin you until now. I sent you a postcard before I lfet the U.S. You received it, didn't you?"

Hiroki still didn't answer. This statment hurt.

_So much for my accident-at-the-post-office theory. He really never sent a single letter. At least not me..._

„ So? Just what exactly propted you to go all the way to America?"

To keep up the small talk was everything Hiroki could think of. Never would he show Nowaki just how much he had suffered in this year. Never!

Nowaki seemd to be surprised by that question. It was clearly audible in his voice.

„ Huh? I told you, their pediatric medicine is more advanced in a lot of ways, so I went to study..."

_Oh? First time I'm hearing it._

Hiroki heard Nowaki open his back and then the sound of paper crubling.

He didn't look up when Nowaki placed a bag in front of him.

„ Here. I got you a present."

„ Thanks.", he said, again coldly.

They stayed silent for a moment. Hiroki could hear Nowaki moving and turning.

„ Sorry. But can I use your shower for a bit? I haven't bathed in three days, to be honest..."

„ Go right ahead."

It broke Hirokis heart over and over again that Nowaki was acting like nothing had happened. It seemd like being parted for a year wasn't that big deal to him.

After Nowaki had disappeared into the shower Hiroki took the bag and opened it.

_Idiot. When you had the time to buy me some stupid trinket, why didn't you give me a single phone call? And don't IMPORT OUR STUFF!_, his mind screemed when he looked at the gift. A small panda bear with an American flag. All he got from Nowaki in one year exept of one postcard.

_I'm not saying you should never leave me, or that you shouldn't go study abroad or anything... It just hurt so much that I was the only one who didn't know..._

„ Hiro-san! Sorry, but there's no hot water..."

„ Hell should I know!", Hiroki shouted annoyed and dsappointed. Where the hell did all the love go? All the love he and nowaki had shared?!

_You should show a little remorse, idiot!_

He heard some rustling behind him and the the sound of a closing bathroom door.

„ I'll leave.", Nowaki stated from behind him.

Hiroki turned around to look at him for the first time.

„ I'm sorry I imposed on you like this."

The brunetted mouth went dry. He had the urge to close his eyes and to cry like he did the past year. But he wouldn't show that to Nowaki. No way in hell would he show that guy this weakness.

That guy that fixed him to break him afterwards.

„ Leave? And go where?", he asked with a cracked voice.

„ Oh, it's all right. I'll figure it out somehow. You seem to be busy, so I'll come back another time. Excuse me for disturbing you. Bye"

Nowaki didn't see the state of shock Hiroki was in.

Nowaki was leaving him...again. And so easily. Why the hell couldn't he break out of this circle of being hurt?

Hiroki couldn't help but running to the door, slamming it close short after Nowaki had opened it. His head was low, staring at the ground.

Nowaki turned his head, looking at him in surprise. His blue eyes showing the dejection he had felt.

_Time and time again I considered moving. But I didn't, because of this tiny hope... if I stayed eventually you would come back here. Straight back here, to me..._

Nowaki grabbed Hirokis hand and pulled him in front of him, slamming his small figure against the door and leaning forward. Kissing him wildly. Pressing their lips togehter without considereing Hirokis sounds of protest.

But Hiroki couldn't struggle to long. How he had missed this touch. This hot kisses. This wamr hands around his.

He was an idiot for forgiving so fast, but he couldn't help it...

_Nowaki's gotten taller again._

„ Hiro-san. I missed you."

They both slid to the ground. Nowakis hand was moving under the brunettes shirt, whom pushed it away forcefully. He didn't want it to be like this.

„ Don't joke with me!" He tried to escape this strong arms but the held him back not moving a bit as he pushed. Nowakis sweet voice was yet again worming it#s way to Hirokis heart.

„ Hiro-san." Nowaki moved forward, trying to catch Hirokis lips in a kiss. As much as the brunette struggled, he couldn't resist this man. His voice, his touch...

_It's no use. I can't resist._

His face was turned and again he felt warm and slightly cracked lips against his.

When they were lying togehter in bed later, their clothes scattered on the ground Hiroki longed for Nowakis embrace. But the other man just sat there straightly while the older one was wriggled in the blanket.

„ Why didn't contact me all the time?", Hiroki asked, afraid of the answer.

„ No, nevermind...Forget about it..."

„ I'm sorry. I had only a limited time and so many things to learn, so I..." Nowaki really sounded sorry but that didn't make it any better for Hiroki.

Hiroki hid himself under the blanket, trying not to show how hurt he was.

„ Well, if you're going to go somewhere, at least leave a fricking note. It's the last you can do, idiot. This will not happen again. There will be no second chance!"

He could have hit himself for these words. Wasn't this also a reason Nowaki had left him? Because of his bad mouth? Why couldn't he stop talking like that? He only would be left again.

„ I'm sorry. I'll do so next time."

Hiroki just nodded and they stayed silent. It felt akward.

„ I became a professor while you were away." He thoght Nowaki would be happy. But against his expectations his love didn't answer fro a moment.

Then Nowaki leaned over him, snuggling against his body.

„ oh...you made it at last! Congratulations!"

It hurt how unhappy he sounded about it. Like he didn't want Hiroki to be. To reach his dreams.

„ Whatever. It's not that big of a deal."

„ No...you're really incredible, Hiro-san."

* * *

When Hiroki woke up the next day, the bed next to him was empty and it was like a dejà vu. One that hurt like hell. Nowaki was gone again. And there was no trace of him being around.

Again he left withour leaving a note. What else...

When Hiroki turned around he saw a small parchment under his clock. He took it and read the sentence that was on it.

„ _I'll be back. _

_Nowaki."_

Nothing more. Just this few words.

„ Wh- Why..."

All the air left Hiroki and he leaned on his knees, tears falling from his eyes.

_Why? To where? With whome? To do what? How long will it last this time?_

He felt tired. Tired of this feelings.

When he was at work that day, he barely could concentrate. Also a dejà vu.

Miyagi annoyed him like usual. And he couldn't help thinking of what Miyagi had told him earlier.

_**-Flashback-**_

„ _You know how it is. You can't live with someone if you never really talk, even if you understand logically why it is the way it is. Your heart just can't keep up."_

_**-Flashback End-**_

_I would never, ever try to make him choose between me and his work. He's got his own dreams and I've got my pride. The worst kinds of people are the ones who act purely on emotion. You nee to always be cool-headed and objective, both towards yourself and towards others. All the more so when you're four years older than the other person. But the truth is I... I'm tired. And once you fell like that there's no use in going on anymore, right?_

That was one thing Hiroki had learned in the last month before Nowakis return. Staying cool and getting rid of things that tired you out was the only way to avoid the pain. And that was what he did. Otherwise he wouldn't be bale to live on. Especially not after the postcard he sent a week after that morning and that Nowaki was sure to receive soon.

* * *

„ It's from Hiro-san!", Nowaki happily thought as he pulled out the postcard from his mail. It seemed like everything was okay between them now.

With that thought in head he was even more shocked to read the back.

„ _We're over._

_Kamijou."_

It was ironic, wasn't it?

* * *

Hiroki had left Nowaki the same amount of words he did the last morning. The same way of order of words. Ironic, wasn't it?

He did everything to avoid Nowaki.

He moved away and changed his phone number. Doing everything he could think of to never see Nowaki again. Because he just couldn't bear this feeling of hurt anymore.

But sitting here alone in a new apartment was all the more lonely. There were no pictures of their time together and now memories. But maybe that was good. Because there was nothing to remind him of Nowaki.

_**-Flashback-**_

„ _Hiro-san!"_

_Hiroki looked up from his laptop into the expectant eyes of Nowaki._

„ _Huh?", he asked. Before he was totally absorbed in his work, so he hadn't been listening to Nowaki. But that was a daily routine. Nowaki would tell him some unimportant stuff and he would pretent to listen while doing his work._

„ _So what do you think?", Nowaki asked._

„ _About what?", Hiroki returned, surprised that Nowaki had asked him something concerning his babbling._

„ _You weren't listening?"_

„ _Ah, sorry. Hold on a minute. I need to finish this paper. We can talk after that." Hiroki took a sip of coffee and returned to his laptop._

„ _Ah no... Don't worry about it. Please, concentrate on your work."_

„ _You're sure? Thanks."_

_Nowaki softly smiled and then looked through the window._

_**Flashback End-**_

_Our dates consisted of catching a bite to eat at a family restaurant. The reason for them was the way back to the train station. It was the longest way to the station._

_On this way Nowaki would always call my name and then gently kiss me. I always would shove him away and remind him that we were in public. He would apologize and as we continued walking he would grab my hand._

_Maybe I should have been kinder to him. Instead of thinking of myself I should have paid more attention to him._

_I guess you could say I brought that upon myself. I was the one who cut it of, and yet this weight on my heart is slowly getting heavier._

* * *

Hiroki was washing his face in the bathroom after a tiring conversation with Miyagi.

He looked into the mirror, trying to look emotionless, because of Miyagis question if he was okay.

_Get a hold of yourself._

When he stepped out of the bathroom, he noticed a tall man talking to one of his students. It was Nowaki.

„ Ah, he's right over there!", the girl said and pointed at Hiroki. Nowaki followed her finger and stared at his love.

Both could see the shock in the others eyes. But with Hirokis shock came the hurt. It still wouldn't go away, all the sorrow he felt was still built up inside of him.

_Nowaki!_

He turned around and began walking. All he wanted was to be far away from that man.

„ Hiro-san.", he heard Nowaki call and loud footsteps followed him.

„ Hiro-san.", nowaki said again as he began to catch up to the brunette.

„ I'm sorry. I tried to call you, but it wouldn't go through. I went to your apartment, but you'd already moved... I couldn't think of anywhere else to go but here..."

Hiroki didn't look up. He stared at his feet as they went forward while Nowaki followed him, not wanting to be left behind like that.

„ I saw your postcard."

_Why is he so calm? Why isn't he crying like I was all the time? Do I mean so little to him? Was I just his sexfriend all this time. He always left me after sex. For America and last week for who knows what._

„ Oh, I see. W-Well, that's how it is."

_Calm down!_

„ What do you mean, ' that's how it is'? Was it something I did?"

_Just keep calm!_

„ Hiro-san. If I did anything to make you angry, I'll apologize! Please, just tell me!"

It hurt. Every reasoning word hurt. Nowaki came so he cared a little. But not enough to be miserable. Not like Hiroki that suffered with every word the spoke as he knew that there was no future for them. Never would be.

„ Could it be about my studying abroad? Um, this was bothering me before too. I..."

„ No.", hiroki interrupted him, while still looking down on the ground. „ That's not what this is about.", he said. All he wanted was this to end.

„ I just finally realized, this relationship with you had been impossible from the start."

_Yeah, just like this._

„ Why?", Nowaki asked. He couldn't understand it. Weren't they deeply in love? Had he been fooled all the time?

„ I mean, come on. Two guys is weird no matter how you look at it. And we're four years apart, so we don't have a lot in common."

_Is my voice shaking?_

Nowaki looked at him shocked and then angrily stared at the floor.

„ That's not..."

_It's okay. I can get this all out calmly._, Hiroki ressured himself. But he felt like crying.

„ That makes it pretty hard on you too. I'm sure. So it's really best if..."

Nowaki passed him and grabbed his arm before he could finish the sentence.

„ Hiro-san!" Hiroki was slapped against the wall painfully.

„ I've never felt that way, not even once!"

„ But... I'm an associate professor and you're a student; our positions are just too far apart."

He could feel Nowakis body stiffen. He knew without looking that he somehow hit a nerve, although he iddn't know with what.

Hiroki pushed his way out of Nowakis arms and began walking away again.

„ Hiro-san. Please wait! I don't want this! I won't accept it!", Nowaki shouted.

„ Quit yelling. I work here!", Hiroki answered.

„ Tell me the real reason. I don't buy any of this!"

„ I already gave you perfectly good reasons!"

„ Hiro-san...", Nowaki pleaded. He extended his hand but Hiroki hit it away.

„ Enough! Don't prester me anymore!"

Hiroki went through the door to his office and tried closing it. But Nowaki pushed between the frame and door, holding it open.

„ Hiro-san!"

After a short struggle Hiroki managed to close the door in front of Nowakis nose. He locked it and slid down to the ground.

„ Hiro-san...", he heard nowaki quite voice from outside.

_Hurry, hurry up and leave!_

„ Hiro-san, do you... hate me now?"

_I could never hate you!_

Hiroki was fighting back the tears that threatened to come out of his brown eyes. He pressed his lips together tightly.

„ Hiro-san. Please open this door. Talk to me! I'll talk to you too! So..."

„ Shut up! Leave!"

Didn't Nowaki notice how much he hurt him? That he couldn't bear it anymore?

„ Just go away!"

_Hurry. If I'm with you, I'll just be... swept away again._

„ Tonight at seven, in front of the usual restaurant. I'll be wating for you. However long it takes, I'll be waiting!"

* * *

**Yeah...that was it. I hope you like it. Please review.**


End file.
